It has not been an easy transition, this move to Ohio.
No Fred Meyer, no Mexicali Express, no Chinese food, no Albertsons, no Safeway, no Starbucks on every corner, no 7-11 on every other corner, no dog parks. Corn, corn, corn as far as the eye can see. No mountains in the distance, no ocean within a two-hour drive.
It has not been an easy transition, this move to Ohio.
Even the outlets are wrong (in a three-prong outlet, the single prong-hole is supposed to be on the BOTTOM!). Try plugging in a cutesy, decorative nightlight into an outlet that is upside down. Or, worse yet, try plugging in a scented oil doo-hickey into an outlet that is upside down. Nothing works on this side of the country!
It has not been an easy transition, this move to Ohio.
Everything in Ohio is done half-assed . . . construction projects that should only take two weeks last for the ENTIRE SUMMER. A five-mile stretch of Route 2 has been down to one lane for weeks. First they had everyone use the left lane while they resurfaced the right lane. Then they switched us to the right lane and resurfaced the left side. Now we're back on the left and they're resurfacing the right side AGAIN. WTF?
It has not been an easy transition, this move to Ohio.
What the heck is a pierogie? You put WHAT in stuffed pepper?! You mix WHAT together to make Cabbage and Noodles?! No yakisoba noodles at the fair!? Sausage at the fair instead of yakisoba noodles?! What treason is this!
It has not been an easy transition, this move to Ohio.
Gossip. Prying. Spying? I hope not. Nosy. Scandal. Talk, rumors. Meddling pot-stirrers. Small town talk, small town minds. I lived in an apartment in Oregon for two years and never once met the people who lived across the hall.
It has not been an easy transition, this move to Ohio.
Invisible deer, roadkill, vultures, bugs, bugs, bugs. A cricket in our basement the size of my head, dive-bombing deer flies, mosquito welts from June through October, spiders that see you and run TOWARD you, hordes of beetles that can make their way through glass.
It has not been an easy transition, this move to Ohio.
Flakey, dry skin in the winter, heat rashes in the summer. Walking out of freezing cold A/C into humidity that would break your fall if you fell off the sidewalk from lack of oxygen.
It has not been an easy transition, this move to Ohio.
Don't believe me? Check out the average precipitation between Cleveland and Portland, courtesy of The Weather Channel. I know it's hard to see because it's small, but note the two cities are completely opposite from each other, POLAR opposites as far as rainfall goes, throughout the year.
Put that in your butt and smoke it.
